2013

Jordyn Please Email With Me

Jordyn, my baby, the little bubble of a girl whom I fathered intensely for as long as I could, you know we had fun making guacamole. We will instantly be friends. Please contact me. You can’t write anything wrongly and I won’t embarrass you with this blog. I feel a real charge when I read […]

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Born on the Unix Epoch

Screenshot from: http://www.epochconverter.com/ Probably the only birth date and time cooler than yours and mine would be to be born on New Year’s Eve, 1969, at 6pm (in the Central timezone) or whenever the date and time would make you born at 0 in Unix time. Considering the number of Unix/Linux system installed around the world

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Happy Birthday, Jordyn!

Happy birthday!  I hope you’re having a great day, today. Last night, I hatched a plan to buy you a gift and hang out at the mall during lunchtime hoping that you would eat there today. Then I upgraded the plan to me standing there with a sign that said, “Happy Birthday, Jordyn!!” and eventually

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Open New or Activate Existing Flex Window in Adobe AIR Application by Searching WindowedSystemManager for nativeApplication.openedWindows

You have an Adobe AIR native application and you want to activate a Window for a particular mxml class if it exists or open a new one if it does not, right? For example: If you have a configuration dialog opened by a menuitem or a button, you don’t want to open another instance of

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MENSA Peace

Last year I took a MENSA entrance exam because I was lonely.  And then I felt bad about the whole organization because it might be about “Hey! We’re smarty pants!” and I shouldn’t enable that sort of thing.  I tried to find fault with the organization — their web people have some problems — that’s

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Completion Satisfaction

Yesterday I heard Tater Salad, Ron White, telling a story about his friend, Dr. Phil (is he a doctor?).  He asked “Doc” for some advice for his son about building self esteem and confidence and Phil’s advice was that he should finish everything he starts. One of my mental hangups is that I seem to

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Control

I read or heard somewhere that people frequently are unhappy to the extent that they do not feel that they are in control of their own lives.  I acknowledge that I’m unhappy because I’m in complete control of my life.  Past performance is said not to be indicative of future returns regarding financial investments, yet

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Dear Kristi Number One

There is no dispute. We have not had a discussion, or traded any form of communication for nearly eight years.  You are the mother of my children, were my high school sweetheart, have been inspirational in the forming of business, are the creator of so many things, and you will not politely say anything?

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Letter from Helen McMurtry

While writing a blog post about Dr. McMurtry, my Introduction to Music for Non-Majors professor at OSU, I found out that he had died, so I wrote a letter to his wife accounting how much I loved his class. She returns this nice note (scan below). Here is the original post: http://abighairyspider.blogspot.com/2011/01/dies-irae-rip-dr-mcmurtry.html

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End of Winter

I’m sitting here at the end of my winter season, my internal winter.  Outside, it’s still summer, but fall is on the way and the fall is my favorite time of year. I stopped writing because I didn’t like to see the crazy.  Then I decided I didn’t like to live the crazy and so

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Zingo Calm

How is it that I experience the previously mentioned calmness laying next to Zingo? Scrambled Eggs as chaotic as they come… Yet peace.

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Fixing Zingo

Zingo said she knows how guys like to fix things, but this cannot be fixed. I say that the challenge of gravity isn’t the falling, but the landing.  Love you, Scrambled Eggs.

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QuakeLive: I think I’m done.

99% of the time I’ve spent playing computer games since Quake was released in 1996 has been Quake, Quake 2, Quake 3 Area, Quake 4, or (now days) QuakeLive. I think I’m done. About QuakeLive Record: * Spend like 1500 hours since June, 2009. * Played about 9300 games, 98% of those Free For All

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Joe Instructions

Dear Joe, 1. Paint something.  Acrylic, oil, whatever. Sorry, no water colors. 2. Take your medicine. Feel better, don’t ya? It had been five years since you were on medication. You don’t remember any of them working so well. This new jazz is indicated for the depressive phase of bipolar I and it seems to

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Prohibition?

I have been told… …that you told your mother… …that it would make you uncomfortable if I came to see your performance in Cats. So, I did not. I sent you a copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (et al.) and it was returned because, I was told, you said it would make you

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La la la la la la la la

After July, it looks like I came within 13 cents of finally earning $100 on my six year mission to receive a check from Google Adsense. They don’t send you any money until it’s at least $100 which is the beauty of their system because, I’m guessing, that most websites never reach the $100 threshold,

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Fuck You, God.

Moving won’t help me. Making more money won’t help me. Love won’t help me. Hate won’t help me. Peace won’t help me. Confusion won’t help me. I’m not capable of having fun. So what to do? I’m sick of being your bitch. Life isn’t a gift, it’s a curse. Hell is life. Fuck off, God,

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You Need More (than) Love

All You Need Is Love by The Beatles Always Sounded Like a Communist Manifesto to Me It seems to say that you’re not special, but that’s okay, you only need to be you and do some loving. Q: There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done? A: You can do what others won’t. Q:

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Value of Life?

The verdict in our system is always supposed to be about the evidence: proof beyond a shadow of a doubt. The verdict says nothing about the value of the life of the accused or the victim. Did OJ’s acquittal mean his white ex wife was a little less valuable to America than Simpson was?

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Diet of Beer and Steak, circa 2004

Yes, I’m actually going to post this here.  No, it doesn’t help my situation. My fall-2004 diet of steak and beer and antidepressants really paid off when I made it to like 198 lbs… which I called 200. My monthly, 5-minute psychiatrist appointments at a brain-adjustment-facility documented both my growth in size and the failure

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Danielle, Duchess of Tulsa

Gigi De Leon in “Attempting Screed” – Andromeda, Season 5  This actress reminded me of Danielle. Yes, Danielle is a real person. She had long, red hair the last time I saw her. She’d had long, red hair every time I’d seen her over the decade before. Her hair was real.  I was told they

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5-Hydroxytryptophan

Recapitulation of Red Wheel by Joe Winett(hack, yuck) I can see where the idea of producing more serotonin in the liver isn’t quite as cool as just keeping the brain from taking back up what’s already there. First day of 5-HTP experienced uncomfortable side effects of the digestive ilk. Tonight, my tummy did grumble once

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Letter from Behind Enemy Lines

Good morning, Roy… I woke up for a taste of water… Staying at my dad and step-mom’s in Jenks (USA)… Having graduated from Union, feels a little like being behind enemy lines… What time should I come calling this morning? Same address? Looking forward to seeing you! Thanks, Joe

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Voice

I have so much in my head, sometimes I think the best way to live life is to spin it all around really fast and see what squirts out. I am not insane because I do not do the same thing expecting different results. 🙂 I think it would be insane to expect no results

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Rebuilding a life again

Was sure a week ago that everything was hopeless and was making moves to make it stay that way… and, the didn’t stay that way, so… looks like I have to continue on rebuilding a life again. My grandmother offered to pay for psychiatric treatment.  Everyone, including doctors, believe I have something called bipolar, so,

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Same BS, Different Post

Fricken fracken flippin flounder fudpucker ricken bocker mother piss bucket jazzy jam jam flippin reiterative fracken fricken flip-top safety seal burp the lid twice. Here’s how it goes: Every too often I stop doing anything in an attempt to frack up my life to some unrecoverable state at which point I’ll have no solution except

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The Day of Memorial

Memorial Day, I guess, just has to be traumatic or dramatic or whatever. My employer needs work done and I just barely do enough to keep from being discarded, I think.  He needs stuff done, I’ve needed to work, but I don’t.. it’s sorta like writer’s block. Anyway, I’m presently locked into my room. Julie

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Notes For Thursday (and then on)

March 2013 I know since April 30th I’ve been a grouchy dickhead.  Luckily, every time around the wheel, things get a little better. Julie needs a floral career.   She has experience owning a shop.  Right now she’s waiting tables. I need a creative career of some sort.  I would prefer one that allows me

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