Author: Joe

Trish died earlier this year.  One of her family members wrote this tribute to her. Rest in peace, Mrs.!!!  You really always did have a positive attitude going.  My mom did, too. Trish was a avid reader. She liked all kinds of books, and loved poetry. One of her favorite poems was How Did You…

If you’re a pitcher who can throw a 90mph fastball and you find yourself in space standing on top of a ship travelling 100mph and you throw a fastball ahead of the ship… then that ball would be leaving you at 90mph relative to you, but someone watching from a distance would see the ball…

I miss you. It’s getting harder and harder to cheer myself up, but this helps. I’m sorry if we don’t see each other again.

Now reading Conversations with God By Neale Donald Walsch. I’m going to see if he’s full of shit. ** I’m a few pages in and I’m a little tingly. This is what I’ve been experiencing.. thoughts and experiences… both in life and in simulation. I’m freaked.

As you might have noticed, numbers are very important to some crazy people.  Since people have noticed this ratio in nature and deemed it “Golden” then as an homage to my formerly crazy self, I’m going to remind you that I was born on June 18th at the center of the universe which is firmly…

I very rarely dream about you, but this morning I dreamed about you for the second night in a row.  You were laughing at a joke I made about some stuffed animals.  I had forgotten how nice it was to hear you laugh. For when you’re lonely; For when you’re tired; For when you’re sick;…

I tried to return to work this morning and quit again, for the last time.  I appreciate the help I’ve received and the opportunity to continue, but I am unable to do any more computer work.  My brain doesn’t want to cooperate and I can’t breath.  I’d rather hide out here in my apartment pretending…

Ask yourself: Is it possible for there to be nothing? Was there a time when there was absolutely nothing? Don’t limit the question to the known universe! Was there a time when there just was nothing?!?!? It’s difficult to consider because your brain knows it is impossible for something to come from nothing and there…

I met Kim in my 7th grade English class at Union Junior High in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Ok, to be truthful, I don’t think I ever talked to her, but we were in the same class and I kept a close eye on her. I thought Kim was very cute and smart.  She won our class…

People who act solely by what they think seem cold to me, but I have to admit they appear to be more successful in life than people who act solely on what they feel. Regardless of what people tell you, you are the only one who decides what you feel, so actually you are always…

At 9:11 this morning, I’ll be 42 years old. I was born at a hospital called Research, so I’m obviously part of an experiment. I wonder if I’m in the control group or the freak. Two weeks after I threw all my Abilify pills in the toilet in 2007, I experienced schizophrenia symptoms.  Sometimes doctors…

I saw Karate Kid.  It was great. Of course the movie has the messages you would expect: Prepare, don’t be scared; never give up; trust old men who know how to fight. The other message was all about the Chinese. Someone thinks you need to know about the Chinese.  There are good Chinese, there are…

I thought I would put this prophecy into text again. My careers will take off.  I will become very well known.  I will continue to say what I have to say about religion as a power structure and continue to advocate that people take matters into their own brains and think about God directly.  I…

Until you have absolutely no money, you cannot imagine the true value of having money. I don’t know when you’re reading this, but when you’re a kid you might understand the value of your money.  You don’t understand the value of your parents’ money. Baby J and Little Man, when your mom and I split…

Actually, no one makes me mad. If I get mad, it’s because I decided to get mad. My use of that headline is an instance of manipulation.  In fact, if someone says “You make me mad!” to you, then they’re also trying to manipulate you — to get you to take responsibility for how they…

I’m not going to write about what happened last week.  I deleted my website, blog, Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook accounts last week so I would not have any place to post negative things.  That’s my excuse anyway. This blog, the website, and the Facebook accounts are back, but the Twitter and Tumblr are gone. I’m…

So I was in the middle of making a little statement about judgment when I realized I was out of cigarettes and had to make a trip to Mr. Kim’s little shop at the corner of Highland and Kickapoo in Shawnee, Oklahoma. Mr. Kim’s is a little convenience store complete with a multiply-headed fuel pumping…

In math, an “empty set” is a set of numbers that contains no numbers.  It could be thought of as a place where you could put numbers, if you had some. I just deleted the story I was telling. Strangely, I wrote the title and the first paragraph, intending not to tell a story, but…

I’m currently far from Shawnee. I spent seven hours in a car this morning watching someone else sleep.  Actually, the time was broken up by moving from one place to another to avoid being noticed, much.  The passenger side window by me is missing thanks to a thief.  It did rain some… on me.  🙂…

The problem with this blog is that I wrote it under my own name… people who know me read it. So, there’s no longer complete honesty here. I’ve definitely got that same feeling a school kid gets towards the end of summer, when all the back-to-school sales start. I sincerely don’t see me living a…

Deer will sometimes freeze when caught in headlights. Sometimes people will also freeze in fear. Sometimes people can get so depressed about what they think is coming, impending doom or whatnot, that they just freeze. Sometimes people hope for a quicker resolution, even bad, because the waiting isn’t much fun. Why doesn’t the deer run…

Apparently Motorola has my email address because they sent me an ad last night for this DROID2 phone which runs the Android 2.2 operating system. This is pretty funny because I can’t actually afford things like cell phones or internet service or food.  But, Motorola doesn’t know that. A man who can afford cell phones,…

You found my blog.  Excellent. I’m flattered you bothered to look me up. When you read what I’ve written here, you’ll come to the following conclusion: I am just the person you’ve been looking for, crazy enough to make that little technology problem/opportunity you have stand up and get in line. I believe in complete…

Music by Elton JohnLyrics by Bernie TaupinAvailable on the album Honky Château She packed my bags last night pre-flightZero hour nine a.m.And I’m gonna be high as a kite by thenI miss the earth so much I miss my wifeIt’s lonely out in spaceOn such a timeless flight And I think it’s gonna be a…

Ok, I said there was nothing I wanted, but there are some things that I said I wanted in the past.  I guess I still want these: (1) My daughter and I dreamed about buying some land near a neighborhood in Tulsa that needed a park, building a park, and donating it to the city.…

You saw the number thing as being reduced to a number… it was actually a compliment.  Perhaps you have had dozens and dozens of relationships, but I’ve had 4. Look at all that has happened recently.  Having me around was just making everything worse for you as I was distracting you from the things you…

This is just like 2008 when I knew I was going to be homeless with the exception that at that time I had never been homeless and didn’t know just how much it was going to suck. Oh sure, there was some fear of the unknown, but when you’re talking about the unknown you can…

When your new friend is being attacked by a racially and sexually diverse assassination squad, you’re going to need to know a few tricks to turn your scanning hobby into a survival skill. First: Always dress for scanning success.  Only your left glove is required, but you’re going to need a scarf and a matching…

The domain name service for the blog has been switched back to blogspot.com, so the search feature might not work for some time, while Google catches up to the change. This is the last posting that will be announced to Facebook and Twitter.  I’m removing the Networked Blogs thing in Facebook that has been handling…

This isn’t going to work out because I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. (a) I can’t tell a potential employer that I would be an asset to their organization.  The reality is that my throughput is below average and will come at the cost of some pain in their ass. (b) I’m…

I decided to stop trying to give up and I feel much better. I have to admit that the plan was to kill myself… ignoring temporarily that I have not been able to accomplish the task in the past due to some weird inner-need to survive.  The way I was going to accomplish this was…

I enjoyed a nice little breakfast at the Salvation Army in Shawnee, Oklahoma then attended the morning announcements and the Sunday school lesson which was from Judges, a book in the Old Testament. I would give you a synopsis of the lesson, but you can look up Judges if you like.  There are plenty of…

Always looking for early morning adventure, I decided to pack up my camera and head to the Firelake Casino between Shawnee and Tecumseh, Oklahoma at 5:30am this Sunday morning. It was a beautiful morning. I walked all around the place and took some cool pictures. Then I put my camera in my pocket and went…

John Lennon seemed so old in 1980 — the big 4 0.

I’m not cut out for this. Oct 24, 10: I figured out that suicide for me is about control.  There’s very little that I feel I can control.  I’m not in control of my feelings, my actions, my mission, my needs, my wants, or my will.  Most people exert no control over when they die…

John Cusack as Lane Meyer in Better Off Dead (1985) I graduated from high school in 1986.  If you don’t remember 1986 because you were young, unborn, or in a coma, then you could see Hot Tub Time Machine for an exaggerated version of the time complete with hair and clothing styles and jokes about…

Yvonne Strahovski as Sarah Walker Chuck is a television series appearing on NBC. You can see episodes here on NBC.com. Here are the reasons geeks watch Chuck. (1) Chuck is a geek.(2) Yvonne Strahovski has a license to kill.(3) Chuck becomes a spy.(4) Yvonne Strahovski carries two weapons at all times.(5) Chuck gets to hang out…

Box from: Wikipedia about LEDs OLED technology is going to completely change our lives. LEDs are little lights.  The light is emitted because electrons try to jump across a semiconductor… they try because the semiconductor has holes for them.  When the electron gets there, a photon of light is released. Electrons are all about potential.  They’ll…

Screen capture of animation at http://joedesktop.com joeDesktop is a software product and associated online service I’ve been planning for a while.  The desktop software will most likely be done for Adobe AIR. I have been planning on learning to use jQuery for a while now though so I decided to do something today on this…

Folks, I’m just being dramatic and expressing how I feel, but I am not going to kill myself.  It’s looking like I’m going to be homeless, but I’m not going to kill myself.  I don’t think I can be homeless in Shawnee, though.  And I’m not really excited about going to Tulsa — I’m not…

This guy who’s a Muslim finds out he’s adopted.  He tracks down his birth records and it turns out he was born a Jew.  Then he finds out that his father is still alive, but he’s dying and the rabbi attending his father will not let him in the room because, he says, the old…

The Universe isn’t digital, really. Well, wait, you either are or you are not.  Yes or no.  Come or go. On or off. Digital means on or off.  To be digitized is to be turned into a stream of ons and offs. The Universe feels. The Universe feels the vibrations on strings of energy which…

Blogger, I apologize for dissing your new-fangled editor.  I was hurt because when it messed up my old postings, it made me feel like I had been foolish to choose to use it, wasting my time, and tweaking that core hurt in my gut that tells me I’m a loser. Oh, Blogger, you’re not responsible…

This morning I was looking for adventure, but first I needed to fill my tank. Happiness is a full tank. That’s a saying from Way of the Peaceful Warrior.  It’s a book my brother bought for me.  It’s sort of a metaphysical fantasy about being at peace with yourself and the universe. This college athlete,…

Today is the last day of the five year period I am going to forever call, “The 5 Years.” By New Year’s Day in 2004, it was pretty obvious my marriage was over. I had been and continued to go off the deep end and made most everything worse. By May of 2004, my business…

Thank you so much for thinking about me this Christmas. I was surprised when my boss handed me some mail (only Dad had the address) and very happy to find it was a card from you two. I hope you’re having some fun these days and that Grandpa’s bionic knees are being put to good…

Dear Fruit of the Loom, As you may have heard, I recently named Fruit of the Loom the official covering manufacturer for my stuff. Your lovely little pants keep my stuff contained and protected from the ravages of denim chafing, winter chilling, and the prying eyes of cougars. This letter concerns the pair of briefs…

[THIS WAS FORWARDED TO ME BY MY AUNT, WENDY. I’M POSTING IT HERE SO I CAN FORWARD IT TO MY 1440 FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER.] Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me… It is the most-requested column…

My last post was missing an important element: Acknowledgement of the problems I caused you. I apologize for my behavior and I am sorry that I delayed realization of the home you wanted. I just told a little story about Trip to the Moon and remembered that you found a copy for me. That was…

You may have heard that I’m moving all my stuff to Amazon’s Web Services which is a cloud computing solution. AWS includes everything one would need for gigantic systems but it’s completely flexible on how resources are deployed and you only pay for what you use. So, it’s possible to start something small and let…