I’m taking an anger management course. It’s been really good. I’ve learned a lot.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
(1) There’s nothing wrong with anger. Behaviors get me into trouble.
(2) No one can make me angry. Getting angry is a choice.
(3) Anger is a secondary emotion. Some other emotion always comes first, such as fear, or feelings of inadequacy, etc.
(4) Negative feelings about oneself or fears such as fear of abandonment come from core hurts.
(5) Core hurts are usually suffered during childhood.
(6) If you blame anyone but yourself, you suck.
(7) Anger is accompanied by adrenaline rushing to the brain which can interrupt your rational thinking.
(8) To help clear adrenaline, one should take three or four deep breaths and go for a calm walk.
(9) During your walk, it can help to look at things around you and say out loud what you see.
I’ve been doing really well, but I haven’t had any stresses which might end up in anger. Being homeless doesn’t stress me out.
Today was Spaghetti Day at the Salvation Army in Shawnee. The Army raises a bunch of money for their community programs by preparing and selling spaghetti dinners.
Over the last few days, all the residents of the shelter have been helping prepare for the big event. I’ve been helping in the morning before work.
Today, anyone who wasn’t going to work was asked to hang around and help with various duties to keep things running smoothy.
I walked up at around 5:45 after work.
Several of the guys running Spaghetti Day spoke with me, but didn’t ask me to do anything (and I didn’t ask: my bad).
A church group handed out some sack dinners at 6:00.
After, I spent some more time with the guys running the thing.
At around 6:20, I went inside because it was cold.
I sat down.
A few minutes later, the lady who runs the social services for The Army came through and asked me what I was doing. Well, she didn’t stop and talk to me face-to-face, she just strolled by and said, “What are you doing?”
“I’m just sitting here.”
“If you’re not going to work, then go outside.”
I should have asked what was to be done, but there was something in the tone of her voice which I let bother me.
So, I didn’t ask her how I could help and I took myself outside and to the library.
You know, it just occured to me that I did avoid doing something worse than leaving: I didn’t point out her tone of voice to her.
This lady is infamous for saying things rudely to people and in inappropriate places. For instance, I watched her grill one of the guys about his job search progress in front of other residents and a few church people. He was humiliated and angry, as would I have been.
“Hey Joe, would you do this ?” That would have worked nicely.
Gosh, it’s been almost an hour and I’m still a bit angry.
Whew.
Deep breaths.
NO! NO DEEP BREATHING!
This guy sitting next to me at the library needs a Silkwood shower. You remember, from the movie Silkwood. She was contaminated with radioactive material so they forced her into a shower, stripped her down, and scrubbed her with wire brushes until she cried, “Uncle!” Ok, she just cried, but they didn’t stop. It was terrible. This guy needs some.
Anyway, they’re going to be cleaning up after Spaghetti Day by now. I’m going back to help out.
Peace, you!
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