Feeling Much Better

I decided to stop trying to give up and I feel much better.
I have to admit that the plan was to kill myself… ignoring temporarily that I have not been able to accomplish the task in the past due to some weird inner-need to survive.  The way I was going to accomplish this was to make things as miserable as possible… hours away from living on the street, in the heat… leaving myself no option but to kill myself — the easy way out.

But, again, I had to look at the past and realize that I would never kill myself.  Instead, I would just be living on the street, in the heat, and mad as hell that I screwed up so terribly and on purpose.

In 2008 when I went homeless, it was because I was reckless and ignored my precarious situation.

If I become homeless now, it’s intentional grounding and a stiff penalty to my already lacking self-esteem.

I now want to admit that I started using DXM again occasionally back in the winter.  As happened before, it messed with my moods and I had more bad days and responded by using the drug more… making things worse.

I stopped using the drug again about a month ago and I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I’m feeling better.

Right now I’m stressed because of the situation into which I’ve put myself and I feel guilty because I walked out on a boss, partner, and friend… and his customers.

My aunt Wendy and uncle Marty offered to let me stay on and work around their horse ranch in Maryland.  The offer alone warms my heart, but I think the responsible thing to do would be to pull myself back together and stay in Shawnee.  For one thing, I have three months left on my apartment lease… a lease I almost didn’t get because of how I was evicted from my last apartment in Tulsa (before I became a homeless person).

Incidentally, I’ve experienced some of the scrounging/drifter lifestyle recently.  It wouldn’t be possible for me to sustain that mess at all by myself.  I’m sure a regular job is (a) easier, (b) more fun, and (c) better paying.  But, God please bless, protect, and forgive those who ramble around our towns and try to make ends meet whatever way they can.

At the thrift store yesterday, I purchased a book.  It was $1.98 and not $0.99 because of the little “y” written on the spine.  My mistake.  It’s a collection of transcripts from lectures given by Carl Sagan in the 80’s about how science is really the best way to search for God.  In the second lecture Dr. Sagan completely blows away my “hey, there had to be some intervention to create humans because the numbers are just too improbable.”
The editor of this book did a great job of reproducing Dr. Sagan’s visual aides.  He said that all he removed from the text were the notations, “[Laughter].”
It was said that Carl Sagan could extemporaneously speak in complete paragraphs.  This, my friends, is an awesome skill to learn… to develop complete thoughts in your head and organize them before (or while) you speak.
One great skill I learned from my mentor, John Carter, was to think, think, think before responding to something a coworker tells you.  I used to shoot my mouth off without thinking things through.  The benefit of responding quickly rarely offset the embarrassment of being a jerk.
I may have gotten all the study of and practice in the interesting effects of DXM that I’m ever going to have.  If you look at the cycle of my use, you would naturally conclude that I was participating in an addiction cycle.
Part of what I like about DXM’s action in me is that it anesthatizes whatever little part of my brain that discriminates good ideas from bad ideas and all the grey levels in between.  I know, it sounds crazy, but being able to carry along with a borderline idea for a while that you would normally have rejected early can really pay off.  The side effect is that I would get used to the universe being exactly the way I imagine it to be. 
Reality of my own creation is so much more comforting and predictable and configured just like I like it.
When that effect starts to wear off and I am reminded (by myself) that I actually live in a reality where I am required to change and grow in order to get through life… it’s a real bummer and I start to rebel and I start to remind myself that I really don’t think this Earth-life stuff is worth the hassle anyway.
Oh, how does one get around the fact that other people are depending on him and that other people would miss him if he intentionally died??
Some people just don’t care anyway.  They don’t have much of a struggle leaving others behind.
In my case, it was a matter of convincing myself that I’m actually causing more problems for others than I solve… and that I’m quite likely to make a mess of things in the future.  The most humane thing to do is to naturally put me out of their misery.
In 1998 or so I saw a psychiatrist.  I told him I was always depressed and frequently thought about killing myself.  All he said was something like, “Oh, don’t kill yourself.  Your kids will never forgive you.”  We never discussed suicide again.
I miss my babies.
I showed a friend pictures of my babies this day including my 15-month old son in his Halloween costume signed by Steve Irwin and his wife and pics of the day at the zoo my daughter and I (and her mother) spent when she was tiny.
I appreciate the concern expressed for me on Facebook
Don’t worry…

Douglas Adams: Don’t Panic.

October 24th, 2010:  It’s been three months since I wrote this.  Here’s an update: EVERYTHING SUCKS.  I’ve taken to polluting my own blog instead of polluting timelines on Twitter and Facebook with new, negative postings.  I’m thinking about just deleting this thing entirely.


Comments

9 responses to “Feeling Much Better”

  1. Basically, I should just shut up.

  2. sunspun Avatar
    sunspun

    Today things are different, you said. Which should tell you that the same may be true of tomorrow. May not be different in a better way, but who knows… til tomorrow? And then the same with the day after, etc.
    And you're not dependable for such tasks, you said. Stop selling yourself short. And/or stop doing less than you know you can.
    Or not.

  3. What am I really trying to say? I don't know what I was trying to say. Today things are different. I don't see things working out because making things work out depends on me and I'm just not dependable for such tasks.

  4. Aye Joe,
    As I told you once before, I've been suicidal. Thank G-d I had friends who cared enough to reach out. If you need to vent, email me, or skype. I'm a good listener and I care.

  5. I'm not anonymous either , but anonymous3 your comment was lovely and inspired me as I hope it inspired Joe.listen to your friends Joe , you're loved, you've got a future , your kids will come and find you . you have gifts and you're a good good man whos had sooo much crap in your life. I pray you can rewrite your book too and be truely happy. I'm going to start to rewrite mine smilesandhugs x

  6. HI Joe, I am not in any way shape or form anonymous! I love you and care. I would hate to never see you again. I would hate if you threw all of the wonderful qualities you have to share and throw them down the drain. You are only full of a little Sh- t… we all are. Don't let what that one stupid psychiatrist said be your final try with a counsellor. of some type. There are good ones and stupid ones, just like in the general population! Believe your father , what he says is honest, and a doctor if you find one who is engaged in helping you sort out your needs. I also am not going anywhere. I think JIll also would help you if you tell her how. She has been though and still goes through a lot of stuff. Thank goodness we have not lost her. offer is always open , need a place to crash..ok.. but we are not going to bankroll you. you will have to fined a way to earn a few pennies here and there! ๐Ÿ™‚ take care!

  7. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    I agree, It will drive you mad missing your kids. I too thought I didn't matter and it would be better for everyone if I was not here. I felt so alone… my self esteem was horrible… I thought about suicide every day… I would not allow people in my life to help… Rejected everyone… tried to take the easy way out… Sound familiar?

    At one point I was told by the court and DHS that I was not fit to be in their life, that makes it really hard to live with yourself. The court judges you on what they are presented to them. Not the entire story just the highlights of each chapter. I decided to rewrite my book. I didn't like how the chapters were presented to me. I had to write the story backwards. Figuring out how I wanted the ending and where the highlights should be. I worked really hard on trying to be happy. I was not even close to happy at that time. I started finding and building my support system, allowing people to help me was the hardest part. Asking for forgiveness to those I had hurt was life altering. You are at the point where You have a support system well established. Next step is to ask for forgiveness from those you have done wrong or hurt. It will tear you up but then you can release it and allow the peace to enter your heart. My next was to get into a field where I would be respected. (you are there) I proved my self worth to other people and still fought myself with my own self worth. Over 9 years I struggled and fought to rewrite my book. I Accomplished it. I have my children back in my life and a respectable career. Working toward my happily ever after. I leave the house happy now because I am happy. You must realize that if your progress is anything like mine then you have about 5 more years before you can leave the house happy. Pick up where you left off… you are on the road to recovery if you want to be.

  8. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Joe, you're full of shit, grow up, live your life the way you want to instead of just trying to get attention.

    Good post all in all!

  9. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    So what are you REALLY trying to say ? Joe….it is no coincidence that people like you and care about what you say. Bullshit or not(as it says above this blog). But when you are on your game….you can think faster and get more jazzed about projects than any drug can afford you. AND…to realize that there is a definite force of creation(regardless of what dead lecturers say)that moves people……is pretty big news.
    Still a lot of projects to be done. Still a way to possibly make enough money to see your kids again. I can relate to that and you know it. But you have grab yerself by the grapes and gather all the determination you can to make it happen. Hard to do alone….hard to do in a vacuum,…hard to do dumpster diving…and impossible to do dead. Your kids are all that matters. The rest very well may be temporal bullshit…..but could be the very means to solve the one issue that drives you mad…missing your kids. It make a person sick at their soul to miss their kids. I know. But the only way I can overcome is to keep pressing on to prove to them I am not a loser…like they have been told.
    Anyway….don't go homeless. You are a good coder. There are still some cool projects to conquer….and money to be made to secure that future with your kids. The money means nothing really…but is the vehicle to keep you alive and moving forward to that meeting with them in the future…and I for one am confident in that and believe that there is a God…and prayer does work…even when you try to make it not.
    Peace !!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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