Adam woke up.
Adam didn’t know he was sleeping. He didn’t know this was another day. He didn’t know anything except that guy he loved was there when he woke up.
Adam’s sense of love was not as you and I understand it, yet. He just knew he felt safe when that guy was around because he knew whatever discomfort came his way, that guy would take care of it.
Then that other person came into the room and she made some sweet sounds and kissed him on his forehead.
To Adam, the two people were separate instances of the same thing.
In Adam’s world there were only three things: those person-people, everything else he could see, and himself.
Just weeks earlier there were only two things. He had recently discovered himself.
At one time, there was nothing. Adam was, but he didn’t know he was.
Then there was light.
Then there was comfort.
He heard the sweet sounds and felt comfort when the light changed in a certain way.
He would start to expect comfort when the light changed that way.
Eventually he discovered that the person-people were different from everything else he could see.
Time went by and Adam discovered the world was full of things. There were too many things to count, but he couldn’t count, yet.
Adam discovered that he was a thing with little parts and he could use those parts to pick up other things.
Adam realized that the person-people were two different people — he called them mommy and daddy — but they still represented the same thing to him.
Adam came to appreciate his home.
He didn’t realize the work his parents had done in preparing his home, but he knew he loved it. His room was painted sky blue and there were happy clouds and a big sun on the wall beaming a smile under happy eyes.
Downstairs there was a special room where food grew in a big box. Mommy would pull things out of the box and hand them to daddy. Often daddy would put them on the hot thing, sometimes he’d put them in juice first.
Adam’s favorite fruit was apple. His father would cut up them up for snacks and sit down to have a few with him. Sometimes they got to dip the slices in peanut butter.
The home was perfect for Adam in every way. As far as he knew, it was created by his parents just for him, just the way he liked it. There they provided everything Adam needed, especially the love he had so early learned to feel, appreciate, and return.
Many happy years came and went.
Adam learned that his parents had expectations.
He knew his parents loved him, but he was sure they didn’t understand him. In his opinion, love without understanding was love of something he was not. He felt they loved the little boy he was and not the man he was becoming.
Adam’s parents grew more concerned about Adam’s behavior. They knew he was unhappy and couldn’t seem to find a solution. They used to be able to satisfy their son’s every need, but now the lines of communication were breaking down and Adam was sliding farther and farther out of their reach.
Adam’s father determined that discipline had to be maintained because, he felt, without clear guidelines and sure consequences, Adam would not behave as expected and not avoid what was forbidden.
There were rules in the house. There always had been. Certain things were off limits. Certain behaviors would not be tolerated.
In subsequent discussions, which Adam dismissed as lectures, his father became more and more adamant that Adam was not allowed to do these things and that he could not live in the house if he did.
One night, Adam’s parents were out of the house. They told him they had a dinner party to attend, but really they were shopping for a special gift for Adam’s quickly approaching seventeenth birthday. They had a long list of stores to search, but got lucky on the first expedition, purchased the gift and headed home.
When mommy and daddy arrived, the house was dark.
Adam’s father made his way upstairs and opened Adam’s door to find him in bed with his girlfriend.
His Father’s anger exploded from somewhere else, from outside of the house, from beyond their lives. It was cosmic and terrible. Suddenly there were not things, there was not light, there was only rage. Adam couldn’t see anything; he could only feel the heat.
Adam’s mother ran upstairs and pleaded with his Father, but events were in motion which could not be stopped.
Adam’s Father called the girl a whore and said worse to Adam.
While his mommy cried, Adam’s daddy grabbed their child by the arm, walked him downstairs, and threw him out the front door along with his girlfriend.
Naked.
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