The “Sales Letter” Website

This is what I call a “sales letter” website.

I’ve seen dozens of these selling all sorts of things from dating advice to kitchen appliances.

The very first one I found was selling information on how to sell things on the Internet by creating sites like these.  Of course, the guy could hook you up for a setup fee and a bit monthly and then I too could be making money telling people how to make money by creating sites like the one they found me on… and I too could hook them up by referring them back to the first guy where they could get a site for a setup fee and some monthly… I’d make about 50%.

The marketing technique:

Attract people to a web page 
which is a single sales letter.

The goal here is to get someone to give
you their email address.

These pages ALWAYS use the color red to
get you to read certain things.

Video presentation!

Once you get their email address, show
them a video!

You need people to know you’re an expert.  

Think about using some statistics or 
showing your bank statement.

Follow up, follow up, follow up!

Your prospects are depending on you to 
email them periodically to remind them 
that they’re not benefiting from your 

These emails ALMOST ALWAYS employ the 
Courier, fixed-space font and manually 
break lines into short, easy to read 

Look, I don’t know why they do these things, but they all do.  Obviously these direct marketing people believe it works.  

Since everything is about me
I am compelled to add that
I think it’s sad that I
study all this marketing and 
advertising stuff so closely
and have yet to do anything
with this information.

Sometimes I’m tempted to
think there’s some purpose to
my indecision or unwillingness
to find something to do and stick
with it, but I am going to have
to just concede I’m a lazy loser.

I’m not sure my place in this 
world is to do anything.

You know that poster in elementary
school that says some people 
watch what happens, others wonder
what happened, and some
make things happen? 

There are also people who make 
believe that something happened.

There is no point to
this writing, but I’m digging on
the right-justification.

I love right-justification.

Anyway, if I want to be an observer
and I like telling people what I noticed
then it makes sense to collect these
observations by subject matter
so the information collection
can be used as a resource
by people, thereby increasing
the potential for making money.

I know this shit, but I’m not likely 
to do it and I’m always asking myself

There’s a difference between
knowing the path
walking the path.

The path isn’t that hard, in this case.
I have to conclude that either 
I’m actually damaged 
or just intend to damage myself
which would prove that I am damaged.

But, I seem so lifelike in person.

It’s just not possible for me
to fail in any way that would cause
people think it was an accomplishment
in itself except if I was able
to actually make my own head 
explode on command.

I’m being too hard on myself.
I think I just like to figure things
out and don’t care if it’s a
worthwhile pursuit.

Right now, I’m spending time
on something I know isn’t important
so I don’t have to think about
that I’ve spent all my time on 
unimportant things at the expense
of trying to pay the rent.

I am currently housed, but already 
homeless because I don’t really
have a right to be here, and
therefore don’t feel at home.  

I can’t relax, but I’m not 
uncomfortable enough to do anything
about it.  You may think I’m insane,
but I don’t fit the definition at all:
I know perfectly well that how
I conduct myself is leading to
trouble.  I’m not doing the
same thing and hoping for a different

I just deleted a couple of
paragraphs.  It was a cute twist, but
I think it fell into the category of
making excuses for being a loser.

“How’s that working out for you?”

I would love to claim ignorance —
that I just don’t know what it is I should
be doing… or that I didn’t understand
where I was going, but that would be a lie.

It would have been easy a while back
to sign up for SSDI and forever play the
part of someone who cannot support 
himself because of a mental disability,
but it just seemed wrong.

I should be ashamed for just 
writing this right-justified mess
where someone can find it.

I am going to have to leave this
apartment soon.  I just can’t put my
nice old landlord guy through the 
hassle of evicting me (which would
keep me here for a while longer).

I simply will not go to a homeless
shelter.  Besides, I’m a waste of
shelter resources — intensionally
doing nothing was my choice and then
possibly taking a bed away from someone
who is an actual victim of circumstance or
disaster is just wrong.

But, I did spend $20 of the taxpayers’
money today on another six or seven days of
food. I’m just a bad person, I think.

I believe I have a place to go, but
that just seems wrong for the same

I should suspense at how this is all going
to turn out, but I’m disgusted that I just
used the term “turn out,” like this is 
all just a movie I’m watching… it 
tends to imply that I have no responsibility.

I’m going to not work on this crossword
puzzle to see how long it takes for me 
to complete it.
Let’s see how that turns out.

I think it’s about control.

If I fail intensionally then I did it my way.

If I think I’m so great, and try, and find I’m not
(I’m sure I’m not)
then that’s bad. 

I don’t know why that would bother me though
because I’ve wasted my time documenting the really
stupid things I’ve done (on purpose).

“What a loser!!  His novel only sold 500 copies!!”

I wouldn’t hang out with anyone who thinks like that, anyway.

Shit, I keep writing this crap on my blog and now
very few people are reading it.

I think the fact that very few people 
ever refer a post to someone else (that I can see)
is proof that this blog is a waste of time as 
a literary or reference or journalistic 

It’s just self talk crap.


One response to “The “Sales Letter” Website”

  1. You made my day when you appeared in my blog comments. I'm shutting down for Sabbath. If I can help in anyway you have my email addy.

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