Year: 2010
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Guess What, Chicken Butt – Joe has a Girlfriend
My girlfriend is better than your girlfriend. I’ve never met your girlfriend, but with all due respect… my girlfriend, she is better. If you’re a girl, then my girlfriend is better than you. You don’t suck, but you’re not my girlfriend. (I’m sure I’m missing a potential joke, but I’m just so distracted thinking about…
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Last Message from My Babies
This is the last communication I received from my babies. I was already not allowed to have any contact with them. I can’t say who passed this letter to me. The scribbled writing was made by my son. The letter was written by my daughter. It says: hey daddy how are you doing i’m doing…
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Another Failure
Hello! It’s day 3 of the 28 Day Challenge where I am blogging every single day for 28 days. Or is it day 2? Yes, I’ve already dropped the ball and forgotten to make the second posting on the second day. Fail. I recently learned that I’m not responsible enough to manage a virtual farm…
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28 Days of Blogging
On February 1st, Scott Bishop of Real Time Marketer started his 28 Days of Blogging. Then he issued a challenge to other bloggers to do the same: Blog once a day for 28 days and measure the resulting readership changes. Since Scott is a marketing guy, he pays lots of attention on ways to get…
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Venting To You About You
I’ve made all sorts of excuses for you in my head and to other people. I’ve posited that you really are afraid of me and that you think you’re protecting our children by going through all of this. I’ve also thought that perhaps you’re just a law-and-order person and will follow anything to the end,…
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Hiding Under the Covers
Ever since I was a boy, I have been one to hide under the covers. My imagination used to get away from me and I would imagine how terrible a monster in the room with me would be, and I would get scared of it, and to stay safe, I would hide under the covers.…
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Forgotten Feeling
I feel a feeling I have not felt in a very long time. Happiness. I am experiencing a deep, easy happiness. With my family history and with my freakish good health, I’ll probably live another fifty years. Until recently, I saw that as a terrible thing — a jail sentence. This sort of happiness is…
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The Universe Is My Friend
Once again, I cannot sleep. I probably don’t use the name, God, like most people in my community. While it warms my heart to think of God as my Father–a caring, supreme being–or perhaps as the Son of the Father and of man, I suspect what is really going on is both slightly more complicated…
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Instinct of the Heart
“In art as in love, instinct is enough.” – Anatole France I don’t believe in love at first sight. There is such a thing as “interest at first sight” thought and I recently experienced that. But whether to love a thing or a person is a choice, even if made subconsciously. When I ask myself…
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Second Shot at Suicide
I was determined that my second attempt to kill myself would be a winner, so I bought a shotgun at Wal-Mart. The fact that the gun was purchased at Wal-Mart has no bearing on the story, but I wanted to put it in to mention that the world’s largest retailer has great prices on new…
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Adam Woke Up
Adam woke up. Adam didn’t know he was sleeping. He didn’t know this was another day. He didn’t know anything except that guy he loved was there when he woke up. Adam’s sense of love was not as you and I understand it, yet. He just knew he felt safe when that guy was around…
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Advice to Myself in High School
I was asked by Eric Santos of 5 GUYZ BLOG to write a guest post. Their blog is written by five high school students, each “guy” posting on a particular weekday. Emily is not a guy, but she’s definitely one of the “guyz.” I’ve used “guys” as a unisex term before and I think it’s…
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Consideration of the Words
Several months ago a young woman caught my eye, grabbed my attention, and started running through my mind. I was so excited, I wrote about it. I’m constantly evaluating and reviewing everything I think and I feel and why I thought it or felt it. And, I eventually review everything on a keyboard. This woman…
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The connection between Rebecca De Mornay and my penis.
I did last week’s post of beautiful women because I was experiencing intense girl craziness and thought putting together an article with some pictures would work that out of my system. You may wonder why I bother to post such obvious things. Most human beings are fascinated by other human beings. Statistics say around 90%…
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Girl Crazy
Three months ago, when I became homeless again, I went extremely girl crazy. I can’t explain it. If this doesn’t let up by Spring, I’m likely to go completely insane and get involved with one of these people. Oh, don’t let their beauty fool you, women are actual people. So, in order to express my…
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“The Better 5 Years” – Day 1
Ok, so it’s the first day of The Better 5 Years. How am I going to make this 5 years better than the last? (1) I’m not going to sabotage myself. (2) I’m going to admit I’m okay. In fact, I’m going to admit that I’m awesome, just the best, better than you, leader of…